Grell's Soup of LOVE
by xXHanamizukiXx
Summary: Grell has had it, he's tried EVERYTHING to get Sebastian, and has finally resorted to his last weapon in the war of affection. The Soup of LOVE. Unfortunately, someone else than Sebastian drinks the soup, leaving Grell in a souptastic situation.


It was just sheer determination that forced Grell to do this.

That damn demon. As if he hadn't tried all the tricks in the book to get his attention, to have his excruciatingly beautiful crimson eyes look at him, just for a moment.

But the situation was getting desperate. Grell had managed to convert every guy he'd met to the bright, pink, and sparkly side.

But then again, he had never fallen in love with a demon. Until now.

Thinking about how hard he had tried to gain Sebastian's approval made him cringe.

From the time the reaper had crawled into his bed, only to be punted out the window like a scarlet football.

Or the time he attempted to be a cat, complete with ears and swishy tail. And fishnets.

Apparently Sebastian didn't like the concept of "faux fur."

He didn't like furries either.

Leather didn't appeal to him.

Neither did lacy lingerie.

Bikinis were used to slingshot the amorous, and slightly upset Grell far, far away.

So now, Grell was pulling out his last, and rarely used trick. If William had gotten hold of this, Grell's deep-fried body would be dangled by his very attractive black silk thong on a flag pole outside the Shinigami Association's Main Hall.

No, it was not writing into Sebastian's book. Alteration of a demon's record was impossible and extremely stupid, since the desired effect would backfire.

It was Grell's SOUP OF LOVE.

Yes, reader. Soup of Love.

A potent potion that kicked Progresso and Campbell's out of the way, it was creamy, meaty, spicy, and illegal. In fact, Grell's Soup of Love was so incredible that man, woman, animal, even asexual PLANTS would go out of their way to please him.

"I got that Soup of LOOOOVE...Oh oh oh oh oh oh..." Grell danced around in his tomato-red kitchen as his magical concoction bubbled. "Two pinches of sexiness, three scoops of desire..." Grell batted his (false) eyelashes.

Outside the hall, William sniffed.

Was that...soup?

Grell stirred the contents of his soup with a big magenta spoon and grinned.

"Time to add the secret ingredient..."

William sniffed again. And then looked at the door.

Grell's room.

William grimaced, but his stomach had a different idea.

_**Grumble.**_

"Oh damn it. I don't think Sutcliffe would mind if I took some of his soup." Straightening his tie, William gingerly pushed open the sparkly pink door. His eyes were instantly assaulted with shades of red-it was like an artist had decided to color the room with the aesthetics of a bowl of spaghetti sauce. Ignoring the life-size posters of Grell and his various sexual conquests, his nose led him to the shiny, tiled kitchen. A large pot of soup sat like a blazing fat goddess on top of the stove.

William dipped a ladle in.

At that moment, the bathroom door swung open. Grell came out, humming.

And saw William ready to drink, his lips inches from the ladle.

**"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Grell dashed forward-but it was too late.

That one tiny sip traveled down William's throat, straight into his now happy stomach. William reeled for a split second, as though he had been hit with a baseball bat.

And then his gaze settled on Grell. Going slack, William's gloved hand dropped the ladle.

_What in blazes was this? Sutcliffe seems so...attractive. Those feminine curves, that pleasing blend of testosterone-filled masculinity and female allure. His beautiful red hair swaying around those firm, curvaceous hips..._

Within a minute, William's hands were on the shell-shocked crimson reaper.

"ARGHHHH-MMPHM." Lips eagerly pressed against a glossy, gaping mouth.

For the first time in his long, passionate life, Grell was horrified with his choice of a lover.

_How could this happen to ME? That soup wasn't meant for you, Will! No...NO NO NO NO, this is all wrong!_

Surprisingly strong hands pushed William away, and the bespectacled reaper glanced at the redhead in shock.

"Grell...darling?"

"**WHY**? Why on earth did you drink my soup?" Grell raged, his hair swinging from side to side. Mesmerized, William sat on his haunches as his god/goddess/godit stomped around the red living room.

"William! Are you even paying attention?" Grell slapped his face as William attempted to pull him down for another kiss. **"I-DON'T-LOVE-YOU!"** The distraught red reaper's voice reached the point of earsplitting damage.

William's face fell. At another time, it would have been comical to play with his feelings, but right now Grell was furious-something that rarely happened. Even when he was annoyed he had a grin on his face. This time, however, it was a different story. His expression was dead serious.

"Grelly...I've always loved you though..."

"THAT'S ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT! THAT DAMN SOUP OF LOVE IS TALKING THROUGH YOU!"

The door slammed behind him.

Forlornly, William was left to sample the rest of the now-cold soup and lament for his hopeless, soup-induced love.

If you can guess which song inspired this story's theme and title, I'll let that lucky person decide what will happen in the next chapter ;)


End file.
